Kindful

Ever had one of those mornings where everything feels rushed, messy, or off-balance? It’s easy to slip into autopilot. But sometimes, taking five minutes to shift our focus toward kindness — toward others or even ourselves from a different perspective — can reset the entire tone of the day. Ideas for Consideration Start with gratitude: Think of one person who’s helped you recently and send them a quick text. Offer something small: Hold the elevator, let someone merge in traffic, or give a smile. Check in with yourself: Ask, “What’s one kind thing I can do in the next hour?” ExampleA colleague once told me that every morning, she emailed one person a simple note of thanks. Five minutes, one message, and her workdays felt lighter. ChallengeTake five minutes today to send one kind message—text, email, or note. Notice how it shifts your day.

Specc’s Chocolates is offering a new twist on sharing your love this year: custom double-stuffed chocolate dipped Oreos. After dipping everyone’s favorite cookie in couverture chocolate, Specc’s customizes the top with your special expressions of love using edible cocoa butter. Choose from white, milk, or dark chocolate.   “This is a ‘chocolate’ twist on traditional conversation hearts,” said Alan Specchio, co-owner of Specc’s Chocolates and Gifts. “Custom Oreos are a great way to express yourself with any of the traditional Valentine’s messages like ‘I love you’ or ‘Be Mine.’ Some people prefer the classic heart designs. It’s all about what you like and what will make your loved one feel special.”   Valentine’s Day Oreos can be ordered by calling 607-331-4276. Specc’s Chocolates is located at 304 N. Franklin Street, Watkins Glen. All fudge, chocolates, truffles, and novelties are hand-crafted on-site using sustainably and ethically sourced couverture chocolate.

It’s gifting season. The guides are out with recommendations for the best gifts to give everyone from toddlers to tech lovers. I just came across an article that listed 12 gifts that supposedly no one wants. After reading it, I’m even more convinced that generalizing, like this article does, is never a good strategy. According to this author, no one wants socks. I love socks. I especially love getting socks as a gift because I have a hard time spending money on myself for “good socks.” For me, good socks are warm. Good socks have extra room for my toes. I love fun socks that showcase something important to me. (My favorite pair of socks say that I’m an awesome aunt, and I received them as a gift last Christmas!) These kinds of socks cost more than the economy pack of white ankle socks, which is what I normally buy for myself. The article reinforced my opinion that gifts require thought and are meant for those who are important enough to us that we actually know something about them. Years ago, a boss gave me a cookbook. I’m sure it cost a lot of money, and I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I surely appreciated the thought. That said, it was big and heavy. The hard cover protected glossy pages filled with professionally staged photos of delicacies probably worthy of some award. Unfortunately, I don’t cook. I especially don’t cook meat and potatoes that take hours of preparation and special trips to the grocery store. Had it been loaded with recipes for truffles and fudge, I might think differently. That cookbook, however, would have required this boss to know a little something about me. With the holidays just around the corner, I find myself reminiscing about the important people in my life, trying hard to determine what I can give (or do?) this year to make them happy. Maybe it’s a cute tin filled with of handmade chocolates. Or maybe it’s a promise to accompany her some sunny afternoon next summer for a drive in the country in her convertible with a stop at an ice cream store along the way. For me, approaching gift-giving this way makes it a bit more fun! Who’s on your list?

As I’m thinking about the gifts I need to buy this year, it occurs to me that sometimes I opt to walk the “surprise” path and other times I hop on the “anticipation” train.   When I know well the person I’m buying a gift for, I feel comfortable choosing gifts that will be a surprise when they’re opened. This is when I spend time and energy thinking about possible gifts that will make this person happy. I look for items that will bring a genuine, ear-to-ear smile to their face. Or I research experiences that will make their feet do a happy dance when they unwrap the gift certificate.   At the other end of my list, I have a few people who I don’t know as well or maybe I only know just enough to be dangerous … for example, I know that someone on my list likes to read but I’m not sure if they like mysteries or science fiction … or maybe it’s historical romance. I also don’t know if they have a kindle or a subscription to audible? In this case, I’d rather ask the recipient their preference and wrap up something I know they will love. In this case, the “gift” is the anticipation of using their self-selected gift.   Either way, it seems we’re back to the thought. Successful gift-giving takes heart and thought.

How many times have you heard “it’s the thought that counts”? More than I can remember, that’s for sure! It made me think, though … what are those “thoughts” that count so much? Without giving the question much thought myself, I decided that it just means that someone gave me a gift because I crossed their mind (hopefully in a good way!!). They “thought” about me. On second thought, though, that felt a bit too literal. If you’re going to take the time – and expense – to give a gift, maybe this age-old saying means that we really do put a few minutes into the decision. If so, what are some criteria that would be helpful to consider as we make a selection? How about these? What hobbies does your person love? Maybe choose a specialized tool. Does your person have a favorite sports team? Consider giving a logoed hat. Is your person always cold? How about wrapping up some fuzzy slippers? Does your person love to cook? Google the newest kitchen gadget! Or maybe they hate to cook! Gift card to a local restaurant is definitely a safe bet. Ideally, they’re chocolate lovers, and you’ll choose to send them chocolate fudge from Specc’s! Whatever you decide, I hope the “thought” that you give to selecting the gift gives you as much joy as receiving the gift gives your special someone!

Saying you’re going to give someone “chocolate” as a gift is like saying you’re going on a trip. Where are you going? When are you going? How long will you be gone? Who’s going with you? That simple statement opens the door to a list of questions -- and possibilities.   The same is true with gifting chocolate. What kind of chocolate? Fudge? Truffles? Novelties? Does the receiver prefer sweet and creamy (milk chocolate) or intense and silky (dark chocolate)? Should it be filled or solid?   So many questions, but this means that chocolate may be the answer for your gifting needs for pretty much everyone on your list. It’s tough to not find a chocolate treat that will bring a smile to everyone’s face.   Want to explore your options? I’m happy to chat!

I have a few really tough people in my circle who I buy gifts for. It seems like every time, I go through this period of “why bother … they’re not going to like it anyway.” After I wallow around in those feelings for a bit, I eventually get to the point where I remember my “why.”   I’m trying to make them happy. I want to bring a smile to their face. Ultimately, though, making others happy is not my job. I don’t have that power. Happiness comes from inside. I give gifts because the whole process – from thinking about what would make them happy to watching them unwrap the package – makes me happy.   I think about my person. I think about what has elicited smiles in the past. I think about what I’ve heard my person say and seen her do. What’s important to her? How does she enjoy spending her free time? How does she relax and find peace?   If this was a venn diagram, the gift would lie in the overlap! Or maybe one of the circles is bigger – because it’s more important to her than the others. Maybe that’s where the gift ideas are positioned.   At the end of the day, though, my “why” is my happiness. I choose gifts thoughtfully and intentionally with the goal of making my person smile. In doing so, I find happiness.   Happy gifting!

What kind of gift receiver are you? Are you easily delighted or tough to please? More important, does the gift giver know which one you are?